Dear Friends,
I am sorry for not updating this blog sooner after we completed our IVF cycle. I assumed most everyone knew the outcome but then realized there were some I do not live close to that were left wondering.
Sadly, IVF was unsuccessful for us. Of course the day we found out had to be September 11th which already is a day that makes my heart hurt. I couldn't bare to watch any of the documentaries or footage on TV that evening or days following. I was already grieving the absence of a pregnancy...and missing those little embryos I had prayed so badly would become our babies.
As hard as going through all of procedures and drugs were; the weeks following our failed IVF have been unexpectedly even harder. I could skip over all the sad stuff and just highlight the happy times we've had; but if there is someone else out there that is going through this-- I want them to know they are not alone.
This has changed me. It has tested relationships with friends, my marriage, my family but especially with God. There have been times I truly wondered if He has forgotten us. Finding out somone I know is pregnant can bring me to my knees. Even holding a baby can sometimes be impossible without holding back tears. The thought that my husband and I may never have our own biological child has become a reality. Yep, that is the truth.
Now don't' get me wrong. You know D and I will always fight through and find happiness no matter what. And of course I am happy for my friends when they get pregnant-- it just stings a little deeper for us every time it happens. D and I are thankful for each other, the amazing support we have, and all of our family & friends we love so much that know how to make us laugh. We were able to sneak away to Key West for a long weekend and truly forget about our worries. We had a blast!!
We don't have any current plans to pursue growing our family (not anytime soon anyway). After two years it's time to just love each other, live, and celebrate the DINK life that we are living. Maybe it's not so bad after all.
Thank you again for all of the love you have shown us.
XOXO,
L
