This post is a hard one to title. How do people even come up with these blog titles??? And what about the people that are such good blogger's that people advertise on their blog? lol. I am just glad I have figured out how to post things!
I'm sitting here on the couch this lovely Sunday morning trying to organize in my mind what I wanted to write to ya'll today. D and I did had our IVF/Medication class on Thursday afternoon of this week-- and all went well. It was definitely intimidating seeing those needles and figuring out I need to take three shots a day for a while-- but I definitely feel educated on what's about to happen. The nurse doing our class (which was just D & I) said to me "wow, you already seem like you know exactly what's going on here... obviously you've done research I appreciate that, this must be very important to you". This is the third time a doctor or nurse has said this to me since the start of this IVF process. And each time I hear it I smile and feel proud of myself but then I feel like I just want to cry. Yes, I am pouring my heart, mind and soul into this. Every prayer I make I ask that God continues to give us hope and lead us down the right path. Sometimes, I feel weird almost begging God to give us our own child one day.... and I wonder to myself "is it wrong to be longing for something that God has not yet put into our lives?"
But it's in moment's and thoughts like that I think about all of the "barren" (this is how they refer to infertile women) women in the bible. The most popular story of course being Sarai & Abraham's, but I prefer the one of Hannah and Elkanah. There is a lot I have learned from Hannah. And before I go into this; let me just say that there is a book called "Hannah's Hope" that was given to one of my best friends (from another one of my best friends) during her battle with infertility, and in return that friend gave it to me<3
Long story short (literally, hehe) Hannah was married to her husband, Elkanah. Hannah was not able to get pregnant for years even though she desperately wanted a child. She cried out to the Lord about her situation and promised if God gave her a son she would dedicate him to God as a Nazirite (a man set apart to serve God).
"While Hannah was silently
praying, Eli (the priest at the tabernacle) saw her and mistook her
distress and at first thought she was drunk. He made an ill-advised comment to encourage
her to give up drinking, and she corrected his mistake. “I have been
praying here out of my great anguish and grief,” she told him .
Hannah then explains her predicament, and Eli says, “Go in peace, and
the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.” After
that, Hannah felt better; she had received God’s promise." Hannah eventually gave birth to a son, Samuel.
I like the story of Hannah because really for the first time in the bible when telling the story of a women struggling with infertility we learn of a women's (Hannah's) sadness, depression and bitterness because of her infertility.
Ultimately, God is who puts the longing of a child in our hearts... so the Lord understands and is listening to our prayers.
